


Things That Are Important to Magic Users

by ChaosD



Category: Howl no Ugoku Shiro | Howl's Moving Castle
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-25
Updated: 2006-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-25 06:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1635902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaosD/pseuds/ChaosD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophie seems to make a worrying wish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things That Are Important to Magic Users

**Author's Note:**

> Written for grit kitty

 

 

Days were rolling slowly, coalescing into months. Leaving the Wastes, we were leisurely travelling over the continent, moving to the west as the spring approached. She liked the sky just as she liked the new shop behind a red door. She liked to sing, doing laundry, just as she liked teaching Markl manners. And I liked to see her smile more than anything.

***

"I want to use magic," she said, tentatively. She seemed to be addressing no one in particular, tending to a pan sizzling with oil right in front of her. Calcifer was busy chewing on a log and only wavered a bit and let out an amused hiss, throwing a glance at me.

Chopping vegetables into a bowl, I silently wondered as to the reason behind the words. Before I could voice a question, however, Markl sauntered in with Heen in tow, checking on the dazzling smells.

She shook her silver head in laughter and persuaded them with sweet dough leftovers to wait just a tiny little bit more, honestly.

***

"So, should I teach you, perhaps?" I offer. She is startled, but smiles, turning to look at me. On instinct, she hides the hand she used to touch a book with behind her back, as if it were stained.

"Would you like to study magic?" I press further, hovering close to her.

"..Yes," she nods, her eyes grateful and expectant.

"But it means a lot of work ahead. Being a wizard is for a lifetime, you know?"

She is nodding furiously now. "I'm ready for that! Not the only lifetime I'm up for," she laughs and makes a step towards me, falling into a quick embrace. The question fails to come up again.

***

The first steps are both painful and awkward, and I sense fear hidden somewhere on a deeper layer. I never cared so much for Markl, he is a smart kid and goes along the way with a very little effort of mine. To confess, all I did most of the time was giving him an opportunity to study.

With her, I have to be there at every moment. I have to break and rebuild carefully, suppressing my own cold sweat; to dig the proper words out of the back of my memory, to the background of Suliman-sensei's husky laughter, or make them up anew, warm and shiny and just right.

"And so here you draw a C. Then there is a space and an X."

"..C," she repeats, writing the letter into a circle. "Then, S-P-A-C-.. Ah."

I've never thought I had so much patience. In fact, I don't think I had it.

***

I often find her engrossed in a book, the soft glow reflecting on her face as she runs her fingers across the pages. She frowns and bites her lip, and smiles in a sudden revelation. Calcifer seems to be honestly interested in her progress and interrupts her with questions and - more than often - idle chit-chat. I think he is suffering from her lack of attention.

Sometimes I watch her in silence, sometimes I come closer and guide both her hands and mind to the best of my ability, sometimes I peel the book from her and kiss her fingers and steal her resolve away for the night to come.

The most wonderful person I've ever met, why does she even need to study magic?

***

She ruins the table, again. There are scorch marks all over the place she forbids to wipe away. She is able to do it herself, she says, sooner or even more soon. I agree.

She might be crying, and then I don't know what to do; my knowledge of crying people extends to a very brief past. She might be not, and then I simply have to wait, fidgeting and sighing.

It pains me more than my own childhood ordeal - that seems blurry and insignificant. Was I ever capable of so many trial and error circles?

***

There comes a day when everything seems easy; we have to build this big delusion inside ourselves, it's a thing that allows the greatest steps ahead. Power flows within her, setting sparks flowing from the tips of her fingers and dancing in the folds of her summer dress.

She makes the mop do the rounds by itself and walks with the stars at night. She reads notes from over my shoulder, and I have to halt to perceive what exactly is the feeling I get.

She gently counters my spells at times, saying I have a very cute pouting face.

When I catch myself thinking easily of my family "we, magic users", I worry.

***

I watch her sitting on the balcony on a humid evening. She mends something, humming a melody she overheard from a flock of migrating birds a few days ago. That was the easiest for her, the compassion and understanding, making her able to talk to animals in a span of mere weeks.

I gained the ability, fighting and sacrificing at every step. But I've touched my memories so many times by now it almost isn't painful to remember such things.

I look up at her again. She doesn't need magic for beauty, that much certain.

***

"Are you jealous of it?" For that moment, it seems I've pinned down what is the knot tying her and bothering me. "Are you jealous of my magic, Sophie?"

"Stupid," she says.

"How could I be jealous of your life," she says.

"I want to use magic," she says, "to be able to help when I'm with you; to know what to do, when you're not around... Not to be left behind any more."

And a feeling both sweet and sharp pierces through me; and I envelope her in my cloak as we smile at each other and cry together: I don't know what to do with crying people and I don't seem to be able to control my tears ever since I got the heart back.

_That's the best reason I've ever heard_ , I think. Even with the worst circumstances that it implies.

 


End file.
